The "Placist" Conspiracy

As a habitual and pathologically determined rolling stone, one of the things that baffles me the most about people at large is the idea that This Is The Greatest Place On Earth.  I am relatively well traveled but more importantly I have lived all over the US.  Over and over, wherever I live at the time, I hear people with little to no frame of reference declare that wherever they live is The Greatest Place On Earth.

Kipahulu, HI

Don’t get me wrong, there are great things about every place I have lived.  But there are also seriously messed up things as well.  It seems like the less people have branched out of their comfort zone the more likely they are to firmly entrench themselves as Placists. 

Big Sur, CA

I know a person who falls firmly in this category.  I don’t want to embarrass this person, so I will designate them Exhibit A.  Exhibit A has lived in Idaho their entire life.  This person is well traveled and intelligent.  I recently rode a motorcycle nearly the entire length of Highway One, one of the most technical rides in the US.  Exhibit A was baffled that I wasn’t worried about the ride in Idaho.  Let me be clear – the scary part of the ride through Idaho is the fact that if something goes wrong, there is No One out there to help. 

Denver, CO

In California, there is always another town, another gas station, another driver coming through that you can flag down.  That is not the case in Idaho.  East of Riggins is a big ball of nothing until Montana.  The ride itself is a cakewalk.  Exhibit A couldn’t believe that I was dismissing the difficulty of the drive.  I explained multiple times that compared to what I rode regularly on Maui and what I had just done in California trumped anything that Idaho could throw at me.  Caveat – ON PAVEMENT.  You leave pavement in Idaho, it might take the Marines, Air Force and National Guard to find your ass.  I was not leaving pavement.

Cottage Grove, MN

The discussion got to the point that I flat out told Exhibit A to get over it – just because it was Idaho didn’t mean anything.  If Exhibit A is a Placist, I am the Anti-Placist.  I have an immediate response to poke holes in a Placist’s misplaced sense of superiority.  It is a common trope to find the New Yorker who refuses to leave the city, insisting that there is nothing outside of NYC that they can’t find in the city.  I immediately say “Skiing.”  The response is that either they don’t ski and have no interest in doing so, or they bring up cross country skiing in Central Park.  Just to be clear, Cross Country Skiing is an evil, malicious trap that masquerades as something that could be fun and turns out to be a Scandinavian torture technique.  Now if the New Yorker responded that the skiing sucks on the east coast so why bother, I could buy that. 

I currently live in Hawaii.  I have to admit, it is pretty hard to beat for some things.  But the best place ever?  If you have never left the islands how can you be sure?  Just the cost of food alone should bump Hawaii out of the running.  I have been off the grid on an island in disputed waters off the coast of Cambodia and have paid less for my meals than I do here.

Sturgis, SD - R.I.P.

The more people travel the broader their perspective grows.  If said person moves and experiences a new area in depth, their perspective broadens even further. 

What I run into, especially in the area where I grew up, is I express too much disdain in response to unfounded claims of glory.  Every time I see an article on Facebook about how great Boise is I want to write a scathing diatribe about the political, economic and social conditions of the other 98% of the state of Idaho.  Boise is a cool little town.  Yes, I said town.  Get over it Boise.  Cities have suburbs with larger populations than the entirety of Boise.  There are many cities that have populations that dwarf the entire population of the state of Idaho.  Boise is a town.  See?  I did it again.

Glacier National Park, MT

While on my motorcycle trip, my Anti-Placist behavior did me and my faithful readers a disservice.  The closer I got to where I grew up, the less pictures I took.  The less documentation and notes I put in my travel journal.  Why?  Because I grew up here and am overly familiar with the area and know it in and out, warts and all.  I lost my objectivity.  Idaho is a starkly beautiful state.  As far as outdoor scenery goes, it has damn near everything but the ocean.  There are some big ass lakes, though.

Owyhee Reservoir, OR

There is also plenty of local character.  I was in a position to show both the good and the bad of the area and didn’t do either.  I had the opportunity to show the poverty and despair that is pervading the areas around the State of Ada.  I had the opportunity to show the resilient spirit of the locals and celebrate things like the Fourth of July Porcupine Races in Council and Chainsaw Carvings.  I rode through and thought “You’ve seen one Chainsaw Carving of a bear, you have seen a thousand” without realizing that maybe my readers in Hawaii and New York haven’t seen a Chainsaw Carving of a bear.  That sort of Redneckerry is prohibited in most places outside of little mountain towns.  FYI – Chainsaw carvings are pretty grotesque as a finished product but really fun to watch being made at the Fair. 

New York City, NY

As I got further from where I grew up, I started taking pictures and documenting the trip again.  As I really hit my stride in Montana I was in full road trip writer mode again.  But I am missing a chunk of the trip.  I could cheat and go back through Molly’s photos from when we lived there.  In fact I probably will cheat so you have something pretty to look at while trudging through my prose.  But at least I am fessing up to my shortcomings.

Riggins, ID

Due to my lack of fortitude and understanding of my duties as a travel blogger I have a challenge for my readers, especially in Idaho.  Send me pictures and descriptions of why where you live is the best.  I will write in the captions and build a post around it.  Tag me on Facebook, add them in comments, email them to me.  This is your opportunity to sell me on your Best Place In The World and my punishment for being an Anti-Placist snob.