So. Singapore. I think I should give some background into our experience in Singapore. We were told we wouldn't like Singapore. (Deb Crosby, this is your shout out) We are travelling on a tight budget. We absolutely loved Kuala Lumpur, which leaves Singapore with no excuses.
We went to Singapore with high hopes. It is hailed far and wide as a food mecca. It is a shining beacon of a modern city with little to no crime, green policies that are actually enforced, and a booming job market which leads to a healthy economy.
Where we went wrong: First off - you can tell a lot about a country/city about how you are treated when you get off the plane, train or automobile that you travelled in on. We got off the plane at beautiful Changi Airport and headed to catch the train. Signs are in English, no problem. English is a secondary language in Singapore so we had very few problems.
We get in line at the ticket counter, explain the duration of our stay and that we will be taking the train a lot. We get sent to another window on the other side of the terminal. We lug our bags over there, get in line and get to the window. The glass is so thick and there is no speaker that we can't hear what the attendant is saying. We try to explain our situation, but it is not happening. We give up, go to the single trip machines and try to buy a single trip token. It only takes coins and $1 bills. Doesn't take card, either. We go back to the second counter, wait in line again and try to explain our situation. We end up getting the worst metro card in history. It theoretically acts as an EBT card, but no one accepts it. You pay $10 just for the card. They charge it with another $10, so you are now in $20. And, you can't ride the train with a balance less than $5 on the card. So now you just effectively paid $15 for a metrocard with $5 of fair on it. This is still in the airport, mind you. We aren't in a backwoods station heckling some poor attendant. This is where you make your first impression to millions of travelers a year. Not a good way to start.
Where we went wrong part 2: I recently read an article that states a simple commandment: STAY AT THE THIRD CHEAPEST HOSTEL. NEVER STAY AT THE FIRST OR SECOND CHEAPEST. TRUST US ON THIS. Well, they were right.
We made the mistake of staying at the cheapest hostel we could find. Keep in mind, this was still not cheap. After the final billing it worked out to $14/night/bed in a four room dorm. No bueno on the budget. So, this hostel. After our fun train experiment, we headed to the hostel. We got there hot, sweaty and not really having a good time. I had pulled out a little bit of cash but didn't go nuts. Our hostel Nazi demands payment in full, in cash, plus additional fees not mentioned in the booking. We booked this place through hostelworld.com and had read the fine print pretty thoroughly. None of this was included. This was not mentioned on the website, either. So, I ran back to the train station, hit an ATM and paid our Chinese Ilsa. After all the hidden fees and bullshit, the beds were almost 40% more than we had booked them for.
The hostel had two things going for them: the A/C unit was a beast and they had fantastic water pressure. The rest, not so much. The hostel was plastered with printer paper telling you what not to do. The common area was at most 10' wide and 30' long. There was seating for 6 at a table, which was demarked as the only place you were allowed to eat. Rules, rules, rules, rules, rules. Amidst all the rules, we found a small piece of paper advertising 3 day unlimited metrocards, which were sold at only 3 stations, ONE OF WHICH WAS THE AIRPORT!!! At this point, I had a mild temper tantrum and then we went to get some dinner.
Additional fun at the hostel: Random and inopportune enforcement of THE RULES: No TV after midnight. This can be enforced anytime between 11:15pm-12am, usually at the climax of the film. The plugs are pulled, A/C is turned off and remotes are gathered and locked up.
The Saga of Meep.
Now, Meep is an interesting character. Normally she would inspire pity, sympathy and understanding. This is not one of those stories. You see, Meep is disabled. I'm not sure exactly what the issue was, but it was pervasive and thorough.
Her working at the hostel would not have been an issue, except that she ran wild. To inform me that breakfast was over (10 minutes early according to their clock) she pulled food out of my hands. To get me to move my legs, she hit me with a broom. Three times. She shut doors in peoples faces. She threw a fit and dumped a load of laundry on the ground. In one notable instance, I was not feeling well and was sleeping in my room. She grabbed my foot, woke me up, threw me out of bed, sprayed me with bug spray and proceeded to roach spray the entire room, including our bags. She would grab my arm and try to pull me. I really don't like it when strangers touch me in an aggressive fashion. The Oriental Massage people at the street fairs in New York? I did not mix well with them.
Even more interestingly, she kept very odd hours. I know this because I keep odd hours. When I can't get peace at 3am on a Tuesday, things are getting out of hand.
For some reason, I was special. While Molly was subject to some of these indignities, I was party to each and every one. Maybe she liked me. I would rather she hadn't.
Where we went wrong Part Three:
This ties back into the metrocard. Singapore metro doesn't have a flat fare. Instead of knowing that you pay $1/ride, the fare is determined by some apocryphal system that has nothing to do with time of day travelling, distance or popularity of the stop. So now that we had $5 on our $15 metrocard, it was time to look around! Not so much. The cheapest fare we had was $.60 to go from one stop to the next, with the average fare for us running $1.50. Our $5 charge did not last long, let me tell you.
All this perpetual fare gouging did was make me more upset about the unlimited card. But at that point, with a $15 investment for a short trip, it didn't make sense to pay again for the other card. I had $9 left on my card when I hit the airport for our flight out. Where's the one place that should take the damn card? The airport. No dice. I am still carrying that card around in a passive aggressive act of protest with my $9 on it.
Now, enough with the bitching and whining. Singapore is a beautiful city. It is frighteningly clean. The Chinese/Japanese gardens are beautiful, and we had a blast getting caught in a thunderstorm there. We hid out in a shelter reminiscent of the one we got married in and watched lightning strikes hit around us. It was a serious storm. The people... Well, the people had issues. We stayed in Little India, which was probably a mistake for many reasons.
Singapore is primarily Chinese, and while I don't know the exact political climate, the Indians feel a little snubbed. We were frequently stared at openly and on one occasion, a guy pushed Molly out of the way to get on the escalator before her. Then the entire escalator ride, he proceeded to stare at her like she did something wrong. At which point, I got involved, was a little belligerent and if I didn't defuse the situation, at least I turned the tables a bit. Both of us knew it wasn't going anywhere; Singapore is not the place you start a fist fight at a train station.
The Food:
The food in Singapore was good. The issue was our budget. We got screwed on our room and our transit situation, which didn't leave much room to enjoy what was available. The vast majority of the cheap food was Chinese, even in Little India. It was scoop and serve, some good, some bad. There was a stand making fresh noodles and cooking them to order, but only had one broth so after the second time, you were good.
The hawker centers were very impressive, but it was almost like at the fair. You get there, there's hundreds of booths, but when you look closely there are only 30 items being sold. I had some bad noodles, decent congee, and discovered I am not a fan of Singaporan Chicken and Rice. And these were all very popular stalls. The highlight was the Sweet Potato Fritters. Stuffed with an array of fillings, they were fried to order and I stood in line for 20 minutes for mine. The lady 4 spots in front of me ordered a whole batch, so I got to watch the entire process from beginning to end. I also had the fried oyster cakes, which were ok, but the way it was made was the most impressive thing.
What I would do differently:
So here's what's in the hopper if we go to Singapore again. First off, spend the cash on a decent hotel. We found a beautiful area near downtown with nice hostels, good restaurants, two hawker centers and less surly, pushy bastards. That's where we would stay. But only for three nights.
We would get the three day unlimited metrocard and ride it like the inappropriate metaphor I am thinking of. The trains and primarily elevated, so with an unlimited pass, you can get a great tour of the city from the cheap seats.
Eat whatever you want and disregard the budget.
Speaking of budget: In our case, we would have to plan to just ignore the budget for a few days. Not in a Kuala Lumpur the room is expensive but the food is cheap and the transportation is cheaper kind of way, either. This is a blow the budget up, piss on the ashes, buy a dog, let the dog piss on the ashes, kill the dog, start a fire and eat the dog on the ashes of the ashes type of budget adjustment. I apologize for the dog eating reference, I am heading to Vietnam soon. I apologize when I inferred that Vietnamese eat dogs, except, well, that they do.
Relax and remember - Unless a combined Giuliani/Bloomberg ticket gets elected president, this is the closest to a pseudo-utopian totalitarian city state you will see. Considering the number those two have done on NYC, they might be able to pull it off.
